Running around in circles
As I have had more time to think about things, being stuck inside most of the day, I have come to realize my life has become like the movie Groundhog Day. I keep reliving the same problems in my life every few years. Having finally noticed it I can't believe I let it go on for so long. It all starts out when I get sick of the job I'm in. I can't stand to be there another second. Instead of trying to work things out I always run away which usually ends up in me walking out on my job. No two weeks notice, no goodbye, just me deciding to never return.
After I have left, next comes finding a job and because I have no back up to get me through my unemployment I always say yes to the first job that will offer me a position. I haven't ever really planned out where I will be in the next 5 years, let alone the next month, and its gotten me nowhere. I'm still in the same position fighting to make it though each day. It's not easy to admit when you make a mistake and its even harder when you keep making the same one.
Making a plan for where you want to be isn't easy either though and its something I have to make an effort to do. Looking back on my younger self I was the happiest when I was able to be creative and share with other people. As I grew up though, I have completely lost all confidence in what I had to offer. Scared that people would judge me and not like me for doing something different. Growing up in a small town with not much opportunity I thought my only chance for success was to be working a 9-5 desk job.
Going forward I know that my creative side has been calling me to open up again and share my experiences. While I'm still in a space where I'm not sure which direction to go I know I need to be sure of this.
After I have left, next comes finding a job and because I have no back up to get me through my unemployment I always say yes to the first job that will offer me a position. I haven't ever really planned out where I will be in the next 5 years, let alone the next month, and its gotten me nowhere. I'm still in the same position fighting to make it though each day. It's not easy to admit when you make a mistake and its even harder when you keep making the same one.
Making a plan for where you want to be isn't easy either though and its something I have to make an effort to do. Looking back on my younger self I was the happiest when I was able to be creative and share with other people. As I grew up though, I have completely lost all confidence in what I had to offer. Scared that people would judge me and not like me for doing something different. Growing up in a small town with not much opportunity I thought my only chance for success was to be working a 9-5 desk job.
Going forward I know that my creative side has been calling me to open up again and share my experiences. While I'm still in a space where I'm not sure which direction to go I know I need to be sure of this.
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